LGBTQ+ history month is ending, and it’s taken me a while to find a Georgian LGBTQ+ figure to write about.
I wanted to find someone obscure, that no one had really heard about, but it is difficult due to lack of evidence. So, I’ve had to go with someone who is already famous regarding the question of their sexuality.
However, lack of evidence also makes it difficult to be certain Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire, was in a polyamorous relationship with her husband and Lady Elizabeth Foster. Or did the pair have such a strong and passionate friendship that Georgiana looked the other way when her husband began an affair with her friend and house guest?
Lady Elizabeth Foster had already become estranged from her husband, and in financial difficulty, when she met the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire in Bath in 1782. She quickly latched onto the duchess, who endured an emotionally unfulfilling marriage, and they quickly became inseparable besties.
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Georgiana almost immediately invited Elizabeth, affectionately known as Bess, to live with the Devonshires. This arrangement, apart from a couple of sojourns abroad, lasted over twenty-five years.
Bess soon became the duke’s mistress and Georgiana appeared to accept it, much to the shock of Georgian society.
There has been much speculation as to the precise relationship between Georgiana and Bess. Some argue it was simply a platonic friendship, or a “romantic female friendship” (which was quite a fashionable thing at the time). Others believe they enjoyed a romantic and sexual relationship as part of what we would call a “throuple” today.
The duchess certainly seemed to have very intense feelings towards Bess.
In a letter to Bess, Georgiana wrote:
“Do you hear the voice of my heart crying to you? Do you feel what it is for me to be separated from you? … Oh, Bess, every sensation I feel but heightens my adoration of you.”
Some have argued that it was quite normal for eighteenth-century female friends to use such language towards each other, and the modern reader is incorrect to interpret it as romantic.
Again, it’s all down to personal interpretation without concrete evidence. Many might argue such sentiments are beyond the ordinary endearments between female friends.
Bess also shared similar feelings towards Georgiana. After Georgiana’s death in 1809, Bess wrote to her son:
“[Georgiana] was the constant charm of my life. She doubled every joy, lessened every grief. Her society an attraction I never met with in any other being. Her love for me was really ‘passing the love of a woman’.”
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Until her death in 1824, Bess (who married the duke before the end of 1809) wore a locket containing Georgiana’s hair. Again, this is also open to interpretation because mourning jewellery was very fashionable, but jewellery containing hair was also given as a love token.
However, one cannot deny that Georgiana’s and Bess’s words would suggest a very strong affection between the women. When trying to ascertain Georgiana’s sexuality, one can also draw upon her relationships with other women. Some women with whom she developed intense relationships were a little disconcerted by her affection towards them, but others openly accepted and returned it.
Prior to meeting Bess, Georgiana experienced a similar friendship with Mary Graham, whom she met in 1777. Georgiana was deemed to be the love of Mary’s life, and Georgiana’s letters to Mary suggest her love was not unrequited.
In one letter to Mary, Georgiana wrote:
“You must know how tenderly I love you… I am falling asleep and must leave you now, but I want to say to you above all that I love you, my dear friend, and kiss you tenderly.”
Yet again, her words are open to interpretation.
It’s always difficult to deduce the sexuality of historical figures because of the secrecy they had to adopt to protect themselves. There’s also a serious lack of evidence, mainly because their descendants destroyed or changed a lot to protect the legacy of their ancestors. The prudish and sin-obsessed Victorians were keen to hide the truth about their family members.
Georgiana left all her letters and documents to Bess, who destroyed many of them. While we cannot be certain that Georgiana and Bess were part of a polyamorous triad, their relationship was clearly more complicated than that of an unwilling wife enduring living with her husband and his mistress simply because they were good friends.
Sources
Romantic Female Friendship | English Heritage (english-heritage.org.uk)
Regency History: Lady Elizabeth Foster, later Duchess of Devonshire (1758-1824)
Bess Foster: the Other Woman – The Lazy Historian | Fascinating stories with sass from the past
